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Enough of the town hall scandals; how about Ganja with Gardner?
QUID HAS HEARD that the angry people have spoken and the happy Colorado electeds are listening. Seems that yours truly can’t get to one’s favorite kitty gifs and vids on Twitter and Facebook these days without stumbling over memes and mass protests from voters who want town meetings with their elected officials, dammit. Carboard cutouts are overtaking Facebook food porn, and your faithful hack has had enough. Clearly, Senator Grinning Gardner will not be subjecting himself to actually answer questions from a bunch of whiners staying up late wondering how few athritis pills they can take before they quit working. Gardner should look to Colorado’s beloved elected-type who not only doesn’t shy away from standing in front of our town without body guards, but Congressman Ed Perlmutter doubles down regularly and sits in the front of grocery stores in his district so any old body can stop by and give him an earful. It’s such a good idea that State Sen. Andy Kerr, D-Lakewood has offered Appetizers with Andy at a local pub out that way. Despite the marginal alliteration, and dubious selections of cuisine, Quid is on board and sees this as a way forward for all nabobs who get shy in front of friends bearing pitch forks and carrying torches for Mark Udall. Forget the town meeting, lets have Ganja with Gardner. Two hits on the Blue Dream or Dancing Diesel bong of your choice gets you in. Voila! Everybody finds some common ground and fondness for graham crackers. Not only will Gardner widen that trademark grin, he might actualy smile. For Aurora folk, it’ll be Cool Aid with Coffman, since Quid and Lord knows Congressman Mike drinks enough of it. We’ll all sip what he’s having that makes trading Obamacare for WhoCares a good idea. The poor 15 liberal souls left in Colorado Springs will delight in having Linguini with Lamborn. Good luck trying to tell one wet noodle from the other. Closer to home, Auroratonians can get Hugs with Hogan, a feel-good mayoral treat that lasts as long as you can handle his explaining why A-Town should be a county. For the day-dreaming set, there will be Mushrooms with Morgan, an alternative reality session where former Sen. Carroll won the Congressional District 6 election, was made speaker of the House and then became president after President Trumpah Lumpah was impeached and Vice President Mike Pence moved to Moscow. No? How about Ballet with Buck? Tailgating with Tipton? For the hard to please, your faithful enemy of the American people offers Quaffs with Quid. I shall bring my brewing wit and wisdom, and you shall bring the beer.
Content originally published by the Aurora Sentinel on March 2, 2017